Our Future in a Face

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Last week my wife and I watched The Lady in the Van, a recounting of the true story of the relationship between Alan Bennett and the ornery homeless woman Miss Shepherd, played by Maggie Smith, Miss Shepherd brings her old van to a Camden neighborhood and sets up residence on the curbside. Eventually, one of the residents, Alan Bennett, invites her to park in his driveway, which is where she stays for 15 years.

One scene that stood out in my mind is when two young men come up to Miss Shepherd's van--to her home--and begin to rock the vehicle while taunting her. Eventually Mr. Bennett chases them off and shames them for picking on the old lady. This particular scene stands out to me because these young men harass Miss Shepherd simply because she is old and eccentric. However, as the movie progresses, we learn more about Miss Shepherd's past, and even see scenes from her own life as a young woman.

In that scene, I could not escape the thought that what these young men were taunting was their own lives. They attack her because she is old, but she was once young and beautiful as well. They mock her eccentricities, but these were caused from the traumas of living her life, traumas that could easily await them too in their own futures.

Our culture does a poor job of valuing the elderly. We are a society consumed with values like productivity and health. We stress the importance of citizens "contributing to society" and hold people in low esteem when they don't contribute. But this causes a problem for the elderly. As we grow old, we are not as productive as we used to be as our memories strain and our joints move slower. Many of our seniors feel they cannot "contribute to society" because they are home-bound. When our society places heavy emphasis on productivity, health, and work, what do we implicitly say about the value of those who grow old and frail?

The effects of this devaluing of elderly life are disastrous. It becomes easier to neglect, abuse, and exploit aging parents or neighbors. We sentence the old to nursing homes and then never see or talk to them. We rush about our busy lives and ignore a grandmother or grandfather despairing at home in their loneliness. Although seniors only make up 12% of the overall population, 16% of all suicides come from this age bracket, most of these related to depression.

However, the Bible offers a different vision of growing old. Rather than viewing the elderly as a drain on society, the Bible sees age as a gift to society. Proverbs 16:31 states that "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness." Leviticus 19:32 says, "Stand in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God."

While our culture ties value and the need for care and respect to a person's utility, the Bible ties value and worth to the person of God. The elderly deserve our respect and care because they have lived the longest in the presence of God. As such, they have wisdom to impact on those of us who are younger.

But I also see another reason to value and cherish our seniors. They are living reminders of our own future. In their frailty and weakness, they remind us of the inevitable frailty and weakness of human life itself. American culture does a poor job of thinking about death and the finitude of life. We distract ourselves with a million tasks and with endless entertainment, but this does not change the truth. One day, we will grow old. One day, we will lose our memories and faculties. One day, we will struggle to walk across the room. And one day, we will die.

One of the blessings of spending time with and caring for the elderly is that their presence anchors us in these harsh realities. When I look into the wrinkled face of a grandparent struggling with dementia, I am looking into a mirror. Someday soon it will be me with wrinkles and gray hair (or likely no hair).

As we are embroiled in another bitter election cycle, one of the words that will get thrown around is the term "pro-life." For some time now I've tried disconnecting that term from the abortion debate because I find equating being "anti-abortion" and being "pro-life" to be reductionistic. I want to hold to a consistent life ethic, which means valuing ALL life in ALL its stages, from womb to tomb. As such, an extension of my pro-life ethic means caring for the frail and weak among us, including our seniors.

So in the hectic pace of your life, take some time caring for an elderly individual in your life. Maybe it is simply a phone call to a parent or grandparent. Maybe it's making a visit to a local nursing home. Perhaps you'll stop and talk with an aging neighbor for 10 minutes before immediately hiding in your own house after work.

Whatever form it takes, you may find that these encounters are actually healing for your busy soul too because, as you look into that aged face, you are staring into the eyes of your own future. And this future reminds us that life is fleeting, that so much that we are actively pursuing really does not matter. However, we will only step into this truth if we have the eyes and courage to see the least of these among us.