Our Future in a Face

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Last week my wife and I watched The Lady in the Van, a recounting of the true story of the relationship between Alan Bennett and the ornery homeless woman Miss Shepherd, played by Maggie Smith, Miss Shepherd brings her old van to a Camden neighborhood and sets up residence on the curbside. Eventually, one of the residents, Alan Bennett, invites her to park in his driveway, which is where she stays for 15 years.

One scene that stood out in my mind is when two young men come up to Miss Shepherd's van--to her home--and begin to rock the vehicle while taunting her. Eventually Mr. Bennett chases them off and shames them for picking on the old lady. This particular scene stands out to me because these young men harass Miss Shepherd simply because she is old and eccentric. However, as the movie progresses, we learn more about Miss Shepherd's past, and even see scenes from her own life as a young woman.

In that scene, I could not escape the thought that what these young men were taunting was their own lives. They attack her because she is old, but she was once young and beautiful as well. They mock her eccentricities, but these were caused from the traumas of living her life, traumas that could easily await them too in their own futures.

Our culture does a poor job of valuing the elderly. We are a society consumed with values like productivity and health. We stress the importance of citizens "contributing to society" and hold people in low esteem when they don't contribute. But this causes a problem for the elderly. As we grow old, we are not as productive as we used to be as our memories strain and our joints move slower. Many of our seniors feel they cannot "contribute to society" because they are home-bound. When our society places heavy emphasis on productivity, health, and work, what do we implicitly say about the value of those who grow old and frail?

The effects of this devaluing of elderly life are disastrous. It becomes easier to neglect, abuse, and exploit aging parents or neighbors. We sentence the old to nursing homes and then never see or talk to them. We rush about our busy lives and ignore a grandmother or grandfather despairing at home in their loneliness. Although seniors only make up 12% of the overall population, 16% of all suicides come from this age bracket, most of these related to depression.

However, the Bible offers a different vision of growing old. Rather than viewing the elderly as a drain on society, the Bible sees age as a gift to society. Proverbs 16:31 states that "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness." Leviticus 19:32 says, "Stand in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God."

While our culture ties value and the need for care and respect to a person's utility, the Bible ties value and worth to the person of God. The elderly deserve our respect and care because they have lived the longest in the presence of God. As such, they have wisdom to impact on those of us who are younger.

But I also see another reason to value and cherish our seniors. They are living reminders of our own future. In their frailty and weakness, they remind us of the inevitable frailty and weakness of human life itself. American culture does a poor job of thinking about death and the finitude of life. We distract ourselves with a million tasks and with endless entertainment, but this does not change the truth. One day, we will grow old. One day, we will lose our memories and faculties. One day, we will struggle to walk across the room. And one day, we will die.

One of the blessings of spending time with and caring for the elderly is that their presence anchors us in these harsh realities. When I look into the wrinkled face of a grandparent struggling with dementia, I am looking into a mirror. Someday soon it will be me with wrinkles and gray hair (or likely no hair).

As we are embroiled in another bitter election cycle, one of the words that will get thrown around is the term "pro-life." For some time now I've tried disconnecting that term from the abortion debate because I find equating being "anti-abortion" and being "pro-life" to be reductionistic. I want to hold to a consistent life ethic, which means valuing ALL life in ALL its stages, from womb to tomb. As such, an extension of my pro-life ethic means caring for the frail and weak among us, including our seniors.

So in the hectic pace of your life, take some time caring for an elderly individual in your life. Maybe it is simply a phone call to a parent or grandparent. Maybe it's making a visit to a local nursing home. Perhaps you'll stop and talk with an aging neighbor for 10 minutes before immediately hiding in your own house after work.

Whatever form it takes, you may find that these encounters are actually healing for your busy soul too because, as you look into that aged face, you are staring into the eyes of your own future. And this future reminds us that life is fleeting, that so much that we are actively pursuing really does not matter. However, we will only step into this truth if we have the eyes and courage to see the least of these among us.

What if Kaepernick had been Tebow?

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I confess, I am tired. I'm tired of the ongoing racial arguments that continue to spin in circles. I'm not saying these conversations don't need to happen--they do. But I'm tired of the ignorant, knee-jerk yelling that often takes place. I'm tired of people plugging their ears and refusing to listen to other opinions. I'm tired of the countless memes and diatribes white folk put out there that surely make my black friends and peers shake their heads.

I've avoided jumping into discussions about race in the past few months for this very reason, and perhaps I should apologize to my black friends, former students, and co-workers for not speaking out. But this time there are just too many notable points for me to ignore.

On Friday night, 49ers quarterback, Colin Kaepernick, protested the continuing "oppression" of African Americans in the U.S. by refusing to stand for the National Anthem. While quite a few praised his actions, countless other heaped ridicule upon him. Social media lit up with angry and critical memes such as these:

There's also no shortage of videos and articles mocking and attacking Kaepernick's protest. These arguments mainly attack his person and character: Kaepernick is "spoiled," is rich, is "half-black" and therefore is disqualified from speaking about oppression. He's a second-rate quarterback. Sitting down is not "doing anything" meaningful. He's never served in the military.

Even worse, I've seen many arguments that he is protesting an "imaginary" oppression. One video even flat out states that "there is no oppression." Such arguments inevitably go on to discuss how the NFL is 70% black, how we have a black president and congressmen, and how more white people are killed by police than blacks. If you can prove that equality exists, then you also discredit Kaepernick.

At the end of the day, Kaepernick committed 2 "sins." First, he challenged the claims of American nationalism. Second, he challenged white privilege. Combine these two sins, and the inevitable outcome was for adversity to come his way.

However, for me, I can't help but wonder which of these two is really driving people's angst. Is it his seeming "disrespect" for the American flag and anthem, or his claims about oppression of people of color? This led to a thought experiment.

What if it had been Tim Tebow who had protested the flag? What if Tebow had tuned into some stray Anabaptist vibe Friday night and decided to sit during the national anthem? What if after the game he linked his actions to abortion? Imagine if Tebow did this and said something like: "I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that kills the unborn and calls this acceptable." I wonder what the reaction would have been, particularly from white Christians.

This is a tough questions to answer, but I have a good feeling that white Christians would have responded quite differently. I suspect one of two things would have happened. If this scenario had taken place, I suspect white Christians would have only criticized Tebow for dishonoring the flag or not criticized him at all. I highly doubt many Christians would have taken issue with Tebow's critique of abortion.

But here lies the problem if that scernario actually took place--it reveals a deep hypocrisy and moral shortsightedness among white Christians. If we go with the first outcome (attacking Tebow's lack of patriotism), then we should pay attention to our Anabaptist brothers and sisters who point out that such unwavering belief and allegiance to any nation is dangerously close to idolatry. However, if the second outcome had happened (Christians take no issue at all with Tebow but support him), that reveals our problem is not really with patriotism, but with our refusal to acknowledge racism.

However, this scenario is even more damning for us white Christians when we think about it because BOTH likely outcomes reveal a lack of concern about racism. The truth is we would support Tebow's critique of abortion even if we disagreed with his means. You would NEVER see statements from conservatives or white Christians trying to discredit Tebow for attacking abortion, even if he did so in defiance of nationalism.

You would never see memes declaring that "abortion is not a problem," or "Tebow is not a real American hero," or "Tebow is rich and spoiled [and therefore knows nothing about the realities of abortion.]" You might see some left-wing memes assert things like this, but certainly not from conservatives or most white Christians.

This thought experiment reveals that the vitriol directed against Kaepernick is not just due to a passionate patriotism, it's also due to a lack of concern about racism among whites. And that's a problem..

It's a problem because RACISM DOES EXIST. Sure, it may not exist is the same overt, violent forms as 50, 100, or 200 years ago, but it sure as hell exists today (and I'm no universalist when it comes to hell).

Yes, we have a black President, but how many white Presidents were there before him? How many racist attacks have been slung at him in 8 years? And remind me how getting a black President magically made all racism in this country disappear.

Yes, there are many African-Americans in the NFL and in Congress, but in how many countless other professions are they underrepresented and underpaid ? How many times has a black man been passed over for a job because of an unconscious bias and fear of black men in the minds of many whites?

Yes more white people are killed by cops, but there are also a heck of a lot more white people in this country than black people. When you look at the same stats proportionally, black men are more likely to be killed than whites, and that's a fact.

Yet, one of the big problems I see in all of these conversations is that, in the absence of "legal" racism, we have created our own form of segregation as whites remove themselves from all areas of black life. We moved out of the cities, we refuse to integrate our churches, and we formed nice subdivisions away from poverty and diversity. But this has the nasty effect of blinding us. How many white individuals complaining about Kaepernick have more than 2 or 3 close black friends (or have any at all)? How many of them go to church at a place that has more than 1 or 2 black families (if any at all)? How many of them have shut their mouths for a minute to ask a black friend their honest thoughts and opinions about #BlackLivesMatter or Kaepernick or anything along those lines? I suspect not many.


For me, I tend to operate with the default assumption that, as a white male, I have NO RIGHT to criticize a person of color when they point out oppression or racism. I recognize that I have benefited from centuries of white privilege and from a history that has silenced voices of color. As such, I recognize that it's time white males like me just shut up and listen, even if it's uncomfortable. We've done enough talking over the years, it's time for other voices.

I've been blessed to live for the past 6 years in a city that is 45% African-American, and to have worked with numerous black teens, seminary students, and co-workers, and to have several black friends. And here's what I've seen and heard as I've listened.

I've seen firsthand black teens have racial slurs hurled at them. My wife was once told by a white church member that the church needed "more white kids." I've seen how racism continues to devastate an entire city through white flight. I've witnessed a school garner a bad reputation for little more than the fact that less than 5% of that school is white.

I've talked with fellow seminarians who've experienced discrimination from others, including from law enforcement. One fellow student once related how he was stopped by white officers in a parking lot while he was waiting in his car for a bookstore to open so he could buy a textbook. No good reason was given by the officers for this inconvenience. Sadly, ask about any black male and they can easily relate multiple such stories.

I've also listened as many whites equate being black with being poor (which itself is a racist oversimplification of reality), but then never think to ask about what systemic problems may exist that keep so many people of color financially depressed.

Both my wife and I have occasionally been the target of what some might call "reverse racism"--the tendency of some persons of color to be hateful towards white people simply because they are white. Although it's certainly uncomfortable for me, I don't get upset and I certainly don't use those incidents to justify by own racist tendencies. Instead, I wonder how much hate and racism that person has experienced in their life to conclude that all white people are bad. But then again, as I reflect on history, I could very easily come to the same conclusion if I were in their shoes.

So, don't tell me that racism doesn't exist today. Don't tell me that there's no oppression. I've seen too much of it, and I'm not even someone who has to live through it.

As we think about and respond to Kaepernick, I hope my fellow white people, especially those who claim to follow Christ, will shut up for a few minutes and humbly listen to a different perspective. And as Kaepernick looks to continue his protest, let's think seriously about what we are truly upset about. Are we really upset simply because he refuses to stand during the national anthem, or would we be less upset if he linked it with a cause we cared about?

If we conclude that we'd be less upset if he'd pick a different cause, then we must also conclude that he is "sitting" against us, because we've become the oppressors.

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"But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." 1 Cor. 12:24-26