Faithfulness or Ambition

I'm at an interesting point in my life right now. I finished my master's degree right at a year ago now and have thought a lot recently about future plans. At the same time, many of my friends have also recently finished their degrees and are moving on to new jobs and new cities. And yet, I am still here in Marlin working two jobs, one of them being the part-time youth pastor job I've have for 4 years now.

I would be lying if I said there weren't days when I wonder if it's time to move on and pursue a new job. After all, there are many reasons to start a new phase in my life. I could consolidate into a single (better paying) job. This would also free up time to spend with my family. I could find myself at a bigger church in a bigger town with bigger opportunities. I have a better degree than four years ago which could open up new possibilities. And, we could move closer to family to have free babysitters (aka grandparents).

However, despite all the reasons to leave, we are still here. Why?

Because I want to believe in faithful ministry. Yes, it would be easier to pack things up and seek a new, great opportunity for me and my family, but part of ministry means considering those to whom you are actually ministering. In the case of my church, my family feels a need to stick around a little longer. When I came, the church had seen 4 pastors in the previous decade and as many youth and children's pastors. Needless to say the church has grown accustomed to pastors coming and going every few years.

But I can't help but wonder if this is good. Sometimes I wonder if pastors are truly driven by God's call on their life or if they are driven more by ambition.

I suppose some could accuse me of having a lack of ambition. "Why don't you go pastor your own church? You've got a degree, do something with it! You've got so much talent, why waste it on little old Marlin?"

But I know my own heart, and the truth is I have too much ambition. I lust after those dream jobs. I dream of becoming a famous pastor, writer, teacher, etc. It's too easy for me to salivate after a community that would "actually respond". Yes, there is plenty of ambition in my heart, but I know what I also need is faithfulness.

Too many pastors are adept at the art of "church-jumping." They see an opportunity that is attractive (and just so happens to pay better as well) and find themselves resigning from their current church because "God is calling them" to such and such a church.

Now, I'm not saying that every pastor who leaves a church is like this. I believe there are many genuine calls from God to move. However, I also know it can be very easy to confuse God's voice with our own lusts, whether they be for power, prestige, or money.

Why do I stay in Marlin? Call it an experiment in faithfulness. I want to believe that God is found as much in the weak and little places as in the big and powerful places. I want to believe that amazing things can happen when we stick it out through the tough times and remain faithful. But most of all, I want to be very wary of "following my heart" before following Christ.

I'm sure one day God will call me and my family to someplace else, but when that time comes I want to make sure of a few things. I want to know for sure that it is God's voice and not simply mine, and I want to know for sure that I have done all I can do in my present location and ministry. And perhaps the American church could benefit from faithfulness like this. Maybe we as pastors need to stop bowing to the celebrity cult our churches want and bow down the the Messiah who conquered sin and death with a cross--a tool that stands for weakness, humility, and foolishness.

Hearing God's Train

I was sitting on the couch in our living room tonight while our oldest daughter was playing nearby. All of a sudden, Hadi, who will be 2 in September, said, "Train, woo, woo." It took me a second to figure out why she was making train sounds randomly. But my wife immediately knew why.

"Do you hear a train, Hadi?"
"Ya" (accompanied by a vigorous head nod)

You see, we live in a small town that has railroad tracks running through the middle of the city. Trains probably pass through our town several times every hour, blasting their horns as they run down the tracks. And, even though we live at the edge of town, you can still hear the trains' signals if you pay attention.

If you pay attention...

You see, having lived in Marlin for nearly 4 years now, I have become numb to the horns of the trains. It happens so consistently that I just block it out and rarely notice it unless it comes from a train blocking my car at an intersection. But Hadi hears them almost every time.

As my wife explained, they will frequently be playing or doing chores around the house and Hadi will suddenly stop and say "train" accompanied by her beautiful train sounds. "Woo, woo." She is paying attention.

In thinking about my daughter, I realized that this is often how I treat God's activity in the world as well. Just like the constant barrage of trains through our city, God is constantly at work in our world and in our town. He is always reaching out and moving hearts towards him.

And yet, after years in ministry and years of trying to serve Him, too often I feel I've become deaf to his activity around me. It's very easy for me to only hear silence from Him when the truth of the matter is that He is still there whispering, and maybe even shouting. I allow the daily strains of life and the busyness of the everyday to drown out His voice and blind my eyes.

But my daughter was a blessed reminder that the sound of God's train is still there. He is still moving. He is still speaking. He is still transforming. The real question is whether I will still my heart and mind for long enough to pay attention so I can join in.

"Woo, woo."

The Unasked Immigration Question

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've no doubt heard the debate over immigration heat up again in the past 2 weeks. This time the catalyst has been thousands of children crossing the border into the U.S. There have been protests and fierce arguments on both sides, but overall I continue to be disappointed by the Christian response on this issue.

Christians are talking about this issue as much as other people, and yet rarely do I hear the key question Christians should be asking: "How can we LOVE these illegal immigrants?"

Oh sure, I hear plenty of raving about how we need to tighten border security or else gangs, terrorists, and chupacabras will enter our great nation and ruin us all. I hear laments about how unchecked immigration will harm our economy and take away jobs from "deserving" Americans. I hear complaints about how these immigrants benefit from our tax dollars while we only benefit from their dirty, sweaty, cheap labor.

But I don't hear much about love.

Even worse, much of what I hear is flat out racist. In reading a recent article about those protesting against admitting the illegal children, I was struck by how their comments made these children sound like objects or property rather than people. One protester complained that we have no place to "store" illegal immigrants. Apparently we don't "house" or "shelter" immigrants, we "store" them, like a can of soup.

Or take the article I read tonight where a certain commentator ranted about how "This country belongs to us; it doesn’t belong to you ["every foreigner outside this country"]. It doesn’t belong to the 7 billion other people all over the world [emphasis mine]." I read that and didn't even know what to say, although perhaps this picture begins to get at my thoughts:

In the end, I fear few Christians are approaching this issue from the perspective of their faith. I've talked about before how many Christians claim to want a "biblical worldview," but suddenly stop thinking biblically or Christianly on certain political issues. They think the Bible and/or God doesn't have much to say so they rely on purely secular or Constitutional arguments instead (gun control, anyone?). But the reality is we must train ourselves to think in a Christian way on EVERY issue. Some issues just require more thought and work than others.

Sadly, immigration appears to be one such issue. And so, I challenge Christians to at least ask one small question which will get them closer to a Christian response on immigration: "How can I/we love illegal immigrants?"

For starters, if we ask this question it should immediately eliminate any and all racist, dehumanizing, and fear-mongering language from our speech. We cannot talk about immigrants as objects or as less than human.

Second we had better make sure the policies we advocate for treat immigrants humanly and fairly as well. I am not saying we don't need better border control (in general I am in favor of better managed borders.) However, I do seriously question the way we treat illegal aliens once they have already made it through our porous border. Sometimes it seems like we are mad they outsmarted us so we go out of our way to punish them and make their lives miserable (welcome to America). I have personally seen several individuals have their families torn apart because of the way we treat illegals who have already entered our country.

At this point, some of my more conservative readers may be thinking I am just advocating a wish-washy, fluffy idea of "just love them, man." Let me assure that is not at all what I mean by "love." When I say "love" I don't have a romantic or emotional idea in mind; I have a Christian idea in mind. And the Christian picture of love is self-sacrifice. Christian love says, "I want to see the best for you even if it costs me." Christian love says, "I would rather lay down my rights for the sake of the other than selfishly fight for and demand my own rights at your expense." Of course, Christ's view of love runs directly against the line of "this country belongs to US; it doesn't belong to you!" The opposite of love is selfishness.

I don't know what all a Christ-like immigration policy might look like, but I do know this--it will cost us. If we truly say we love immigrants, it means we will think twice before denying them a better life in our country (probably the reason why your own ancestors came to this country). It means we won't just make decisions about this topic from a distance, but will hold our tongue until we've actually seen and met the people involved. We can't have an opinion on the topic and sit passively at home. It means we will take efforts to clearly communicate to these people that they are important and valuable even if we decide to send them back to their home country. And it means we recognize the only real resource we may be running short of in this country is love for others.

So if you dislike the notion of amnesty, if you want to see closed borders, fine. But do me a favor if you are a Christian--don't dehumanize, don't put your rights above theirs, and ask yourself how you will choose to directly and sacrificially love immigrants. If you can't answer this key question about how your policies, words, and actions will show love, then please don't speak at all.