Do I Fast?

I was recently asked by a friend whether or not I fast. After looking at her oddly since the question seemed to come out of nowhere, I answered that I do sometimes fast. She then asked me what I thought about fasting. My short answer to her was that I don't fast because it is somehow the "holy" thing super-Christians do, or because I am trying to get something from God. I choose to fast when I feel I have no other choice with which to respond to particular moments in life. In other words, I fast when it seems to be the natural response.

My theology of fasting has been greatly shaped by the work of Scot McKnight. I really began to develop a deeper understanding of this ancient Christian practice when reading his book on fasting from The Ancient Practices Series. In McKnight's words, fasting "is the natural, inevitable response of a person to a grievous sacred moment in life [emphasis mine]."

As he explains, biblical fasting begins with an encounter of a "grievous sacred moment." It is this experience that prompts a person to fast. A person responding to such events only receives benefits after they respond to a prior event (and even then blessings are not guaranteed to always happen). McKnight consistently argues that the reaped benefits are not the point of fasting. We do not fast in order to get closer to God, to change our circumstances, or to get our prayers answered (although these things often do happen when we fast). Rather, we fast because we feel led to do so by our circumstances. We fast because it seems like the natural reaction to particular moments in our lives.

So, yes I do fast, but only when I feel like it is natural for me to do so. I fast during those "grievous sacred moments." A loved one dies. A friend is sick. My ministry faces challenges and frustrations. A church is divided by conflict. A country is burdened by bloodshed and war. These are the moments when I fast. I fast because my soul grieves. I fast because my body does not feel the desire to eat. I fast because I need more than bread in those times--I need the words of God.

I feel like fasting has always danced an awkward tango with the evangelical church. I've heard many evangelical leaders praise and demand fasting because "it is the only way to get close to God or to see your prayers answered" (which, as I just stated above, is not the real purpose of fasting). At the same time, I get the feeling that most evangelical Christians don't really know what to do with fasting or don't really know why they should do it. They get the impression that it is a "holy" experience they should do, but they don't know why and tend to avoid it because it seems too ancient or odd.

I think a large reason we evangelicals don't get fasting is because we've divorced the "body" and the "soul." We think the "real" part of us is our soul, which we think will fly off to heaven one day, leaving our body behind. In contrast, fasting is an act very solidly rooted in bodily experience. Why practice fasting when I can't really see how this bodily act will impact my soul, the "true me"?

However, once we realize the error of this thinking then we can better appreciate the practice of fasting. We are more than a soul. We are soul and body. These two cannot be divided or separated. This is the whole point of the promise of the resurrection. One day, God will restore our bodies back to us. Our bodies do matter, and what we do in these bodies matters as well because bodily practices do impact the spirit. They are united.

So, yes I do fast, and it probably wouldn't hurt if you did too. However, don't fast in order to get something. Don't fast to manipulate God into blessing you or answering your prayers. Instead, fast when life demands it. Fast when you encounter those "grievous sacred moments." Fast when you are in pain. Fast when you are surrounded by death and suffering. Fast when your prayers seem to go unanswered and you feel abandoned by God. Doing so brings our body into harmony with what our soul is experiencing. So, the next time pain and tragedy smack you in the face, don't censor your body, but allow it to suffer as well and open yourself to the healing and grace found in Christ.

Demons in America

No, this is not a blog post about a new horror movie. If that's what you were expecting, I'm sorry to disappoint you (although I feel like "Demons in America" would make a good title for a horror-comedy film.)

No, I'm talking about real demons in real life. In our "enlightened" culture this topic does not come up too often, at least not in meaningful ways. On the one hand, with the overall decline of organized religion and the growth of science and modern empiricism, one would expect Americans to completely discount the concept of demons as beings that truly exist. However, interestingly enough, a nationally representative study done by the Baylor Department of Sociology found a couple years ago that 67% of Americans either "absolutely" or "probably" believe in demons. Another survey found that 57% of Americans believe a person can become "possessed by demons."

Now, much of this belief is probably more influenced by modern horror films than by any biblical understanding. Such a belief is likely comparable to how many people also believe in ghosts or other evil powers. However, the stats get even more interesting when we look at American Christians in particular.

According to a study done by the Barna Group nearly 60% of American Christians do not really believe that Satan is a "living being," but merely believe that Satan is just a "symbol of evil." Confusingly, though, 64% of American Christians stated they believe a person can come "under the influence" of spiritual forces such as demons.

This apparent inconsistency seems to speak of the particular social situation of American Christians. We follow a book that plainly declares demons are real and claims demons oppress and possess people and interfere with human affairs. However, to actually believe there are real spiritual creatures out there causing havoc in the world does not seem to line up with our scientific, modern worldview. Therefore, most Christians probably opt for agreeing that there are "spiritual" forces out there, but stop short of admitting these forces are actual creatures. Maybe they're just symbolic.

Overall, I find that most people I encounter don't operate with a sense that demons are real and active in the world, at least not on a daily basis. As one of my former professors used to joke, "We don't believe in demons in America because they can't get past customs." For most Americans, even those who claim to believe in spiritual forces, we don't go around expecting to encounter demons around us.

I suspect again that this is largely due to Hollywood. We've been tricked into thinking that demons are grotesque creatures who manifest themselves in horrendous, obvious ways. If a person is possessed, we expect them to have their head twist in a circle or their mouth to elongate into a gaping maw filled with razor sharp teeth. Those are our images of demon possession. And if that is what we expect, of course we will never encounter demons in America.

At the same time, there are many Americans who simply dismiss the concept of demons as "superstitious." Satan and demons are merely symbols for evil, mental illness, human temptations, etc. After all, we are a scientific society. We know there is no such thing as supernatural beings. Everything in the universe has a rational explanation.

But I do believe there are demons out there. I do believe that unseen forces seek to destroy humans and create chaos. Why do I believe this? Because it seems Jesus did. Even if we chalk up many of the "demon possessed" whom Jesus healed to people afflicted by mental illness or epilepsy, I still can't discount how Jesus operated His ministry with the belief that Satan was real and that He was in fact battling unseen forces. Furthermore, my wife and I have had too many experiences in our lives that demonstrate to us that there is more to the world than what I can see with my eyes or that I can study with scientific equipment.

But, if demons are real, what do they look like in America? For one, I guarantee they are not parading around in the clothes of Hollywood. As CS Lewis pointed out in The Screwtape Letters, a lack of belief in demons can be just as unhealthy as an unwarranted fear of demons. We as Americans tend to fall into the trap of ignorance and lack of belief. And, if this is unhealthy, then why would demons try to make themselves known? If they can keep their work hidden from our blind eyes, then it makes sense they would keep a low profile.

Which brings me to my main point. What does "demon possession" look like in modern America? I don't think it can be seen by heads twisting or fangs growing. I don't even think it can often be noticed by a person's voice becoming deep and gravelly. Rather, I think one of the key markers of demonic activity in America is irrational self-destruction. When a person or group seems to march toward their own demise and does so against all sense of reason and logic, I think many times there is probably demonic influence.

For instance, a former professor of mine once told the story of a woman seeking counseling from him while he was a pastor. She had done some horrible things in her past, things that people should regret. At this stage of the counseling, he wanted her to move on past describing her sins. However, she kept insisting on telling every grisly detail and almost seemed to delight in the retelling. Even when he kept telling her to stop she kept persisting. Finally, when he stood up to walk away, she grabbed his arm as if she wanted to force him to stay and listen to her boast about her evil.

It is that kind of irrational behavior that seems to be indicative of demonic activity here in the US. Now, let me be clear, I DO NOT want to ignore mental illness or modern medicinal science. These are both necessary fields of study. Those diagnosed with mental illnesses should be treated or medicated as needed. However, when a person with a mental illness engages in a mass shooting, I can't help but think that demons were present as well. After all, just the mental illness itself does not seem to be a full explanation. Many people with the same mental illness don't turn violent or commit murderous atrocities.

When people choose the path of self-destruction, this is anti-creational activity, and is likely the work of those who oppose the Creator. Furthermore, pursuing this path while ignoring any rational thought also seems to be indicative. When people take an action that is clearly absurd and leaves us scratching our heads when we step back from the situation, it should be a clue to us.

Demons may be at work when an institution continues to oppress a minority group, even though every sign indicates it does so to its detriment. Or when a man makes up ridiculous rumors to oust a faithful pastor, even though he knows it will cause a church split or church death. Or when a woman persists in her drug use and even brags about the addiction, even though she knows it is wrong and it will kill her. When a person finds themselves hating or being envious of a friend with no clear reason; the feelings just seem to appear "out of nowhere."

The longer I live, the more situations I see that go beyond rational explanation. We can try to offer as many scientific or psychological reasonings as we want, but in the end, there is too much I see that cannot be explained away. There are many cases when it appears there is an unseen force gently prodding individuals and institutions toward their own demise.

Again, let me reiterate, it is foolish for us to go on witch-hunts or to see Satan hiding behind every bush and corner! There are many things that CAN be explained by science and psychology. Furthermore, identifying evil is rarely an easy task. As NT Wright has stated, "evil is nameless, and slimy, and formless and seeps in other places [we do not expect.]" The moment we try to label something as "demonic" or the work of Satan is often the moment that evil jumps out from a different direction completely or even rears its head in us.

In conclusion, I don't advocate forming exorcism teams to seek out and destroy demons in your community. Evil is slippery and such efforts often further the cause of evil by attacking the innocent. However, we should not be naive and think that we live in a demon-free world. Demons are real and present, and they are at work. And, having seen the effect of these forces in my own life, in my community, and in my church, this realization prompts me to turn all the more to God in prayer. As I find in the example of Jesus, the only way to push back the darkness in lives and institutions around us is to "bind the strong man" (Mk. 3:27) through prayer and reliance on the power of the Holy Spirit. If evil does exist, and if it seeks to undo God's creation, then the people of God must join together in unity to pray for God to show up as our warrior and King who has defeated evil on the cross and who is the rightful King of this world.

"This is My Father's world
oh let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong
God is the Ruler yet!"

Missing the heart of the matter...again

The debate surrounding the death of Michael Brown is still raging. Tempers have flared on both sides and many opposing points have been thrown into the arena. I have had many thoughts throughout this ordeal, but have refrained from posting most of them. However, as I continue to watch reactions and comments from my white friends, I feel a need to point out that most whites (particularly white Christians) have missed the heart of the matter.

When this tragedy and the subsequent protests first began, I blogged and made a prediction about how most white Americans would react (read it here). Towards the end I predicted that  "many whites will minimize or dismiss charges of racism" and that this would be the most common response for white Americans to Ferguson. In particular, I noted that these same people would prefer to focus on the rightness or wrongness of police action.

Sadly, the 2 weeks that have passed since that blog have proved me more or less correct. As I scan my Facebook feed, more than half of the shared articles about Ferguson from my white friends follow this trajectory. Most of these articles amount to defaming the character of Michael Brown and attempting to defend Officer Wilson's choice to use deadly force. To summarize most of these articles--Mr. Brown stole cigars from a convenience store, was a trouble-maker, got stopped by police and assaulted this police. Officer Wilson, then fearing for his life, shot Mr. Brown to death after sustaining serious injuries to his face.

However, all of this ultimately misses what is perhaps the most important takeaway from this whole tragedy. As I mentioned in my first article, such discussion sidetracks us from more important questions. Why is the black community so upset? Why are there charges of racism every time a black teen is gunned down by police? Why are so many whites silent about this story when so many African-Americans are speaking out? Perhaps the key thing we should take away from this story is that there are still serious race issues in America. Furthermore, the black community is willing to talk about this race relation problem while the white community, by and large, is not (perhaps we can call this racist?).

So, to get back down to the bottom line: An unarmed, black teen is dead. Sadly, those articles that attack Mr. Brown's character or reputation completely ignore this point. Even if we accept the most damning account of Michael Brown's character, it still does not justify his death. If he did shoplift (an offense the responding officer supposedly did not even know about at the time), jaywalk, and assault an officer, these are still not crimes deserving of the death penalty. And even if they were, Mr. Brown still would have been entitled to due process and a trial. So, no matter what, it was AN INJUSTICE for this teen to be gunned down in the street, regardless of his character or actions.

What worries me about these articles attacking his character is that they have a nasty implication. First, it implies we do not really believe in America's justice system (and believe too strongly in violence). We do not believe in due process or human rights. If there is a criminal, we don't really care if something bad happens to them. They deserved it, right?

Or, at least we don't care if the criminal/victim is black. When we focus on the possible flaws in Mr. Brown, instead of grieving with a family affected by injustice, we unconsciously imply that the death of a black man does not really matter. We show no pain or remorse because deep down in our minds, he wasn't a person.

Which brings me back to the core issue many whites are overlooking: race relations. When many whites look at the protests and the angst among black Americans, they just shake their heads in confusion. They call the protests immature. They talk about "playing the race card" or "reverse racism." They look for stories of whites teens who were killed by police to dismiss race as an issue.

But race is the issue.

Let's step back beyond the actions of Officer Wilson. At this point, I don't care if his decision to shoot was motivated by racism or by a genuine effort to defend his life in the line of duty. I don't know the answer to that, and no one besides Officer Wilson probably will. However, in all our efforts to vindicate Officer Wilson, white Americans have ignored the ultimate reason why the black community is so upset. It's not because one single black teen was shot. It's because there is a whole system of racism that continues to work against them.

And so, the character of Michael Brown doesn't even really matter. What white Americans should have been thinking and talking about is why so many were so quick to criticize the situation. And the answer is because the death of Michael Brown is too similar to countless injustices the black community faces on a daily basis. Whites continue to have more power and influence than blacks. Whites continue to be less affected by poverty. Whites don't have to have talks with their sons about how to respond to police officers to avoid confrontation. Whites don't get stopped by police and searched for no good reason. White men don't worry about being viewed as suspicious simply because of the color of their skin. The black community isn't upset just because one teen got killed. They aren't upset because they are trying to be racist back to whites. They are upset because this death carries too many echoes of continuing racism and the white community persists in ignoring racism altogether.

So going forward I pray that my white friends and readers will stop criticizing Michael Brown or attempting to defend Officer Wilson. Instead, I pray they would do two things. First, I hope they will offer sympathy and grief to a family and neighborhood who lost a teen, remembering that this death was an injustice no matter the exact circumstances.

Second, I pray that more white will pause to ask why many black Americans are so upset. Withhold judgment and protest and instead listen. Listen to the countless stories of profiling, discrimination, suffering, and racism. Racism may not be as blatant as 60 years ago, but it is still very present. Our blindness to racism may not be a willful blindness, but it is a blindness nonetheless. The worst thing whites can do is minimize it or ignore it. For, if we continue to ignore it, there will only be more Michael Browns and more protests.

Warring Issues in Ferguson

Racism or Militarized Police?

These are the two main issues at stake in the protests and riots currently occurring in Ferguson, MO. I am no policy expert, and I am not a reporter on the scene, but I do feel like this news story may prove interesting as far as what it reveals about the American public. In particular, how will Americans (namely white Americans) respond to these two issues.

Lesley McSpadden, Michael Brown's mother

First, there is the complaint that racism is still at work. As the argument goes, Michael Brown was unfairly targeted and shot to death more or less because he was black, not because he deserved it. Had Michael been a white teen, he would have escaped with his life--if he had been troubled by police at all. This side of the story is very similar to the case of Trayvon Martin a couple of years back.

When the Trayvon Martin case was in the news, we basically saw white Americans take two different sides. There were those who sided with the black community and demanded justice because they felt Trayvon had been killed simply for the color of his skin. Then, there were others who more or less defended George Zimmerman. They questioned whether Trayvon was truly innocent and they attacked the idea that his character that night was spotless. They defended the law that allowed Zimmerman to use his gun. They denied that race had anything to do with the murder and claimed it was just certain black activists "playing the race card."

However, the problem in Ferguson is a little different. The accusation of racism does not center on a black individual and a white individual. Rather, this case centers on a black teen and an entire system. In particular, it is a system almost everyone, conservative or liberal, recognizes is probably in the wrong. While the shooting itself will likely be disputed in much the same way Trayvon's death was, the reaction of the police that followed has startled Americans. The brutal crackdown of police on protestors has left many Americans in shock.

This sets up two powerful issues that people are seeking to correct--racism and the militarization of the police. What I find interesting about this story is that those white Americans who would normally lament the overreaction of big government/police state are also the same ones who would often ignore or minimize the existence of racism in shootings like this. However, with the problems in Ferguson, we have both of these issues closely linked. It becomes much harder to condemn the use of military/police force without also simultaneously condemning the police for racism. If the police are treating ordinary citizens this harshly, is it really that hard to believe that an officer shot an unarmed teen because he was black? In both narratives the police of the city are out of line.

And so, I wonder how white Americans will react to this story. In my mind I see 3 basic reactions that will (and have begun to) occur.

First, a few white Americans will condemn both wrongs. They will admit that racism played a part in this murder and will also condemn the extreme force that was used against protestors.

Second, others will minimize the problems that exist in Ferguson. They will point out that the media has made the police reaction sound worse than it actually is (for instance). The police have not overreacted, instead the media has overreacted. Of course, this also has the effect of suggesting that the media (and blacks) have overreacted on the race issue as well.

Finally, and I suspect this will be the most popular option among whites, we will focus mostly on the militarization of the police and on big government while practically ignoring the accusations of racism that began it all. Instead, we will debate the rightness or wrongness of the police handling of the protests. Even worse, many whites will minimize or dismiss charges of racism.  I have already read of few stories and comments attacking Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton for simply going to St. Louis because they want to be on camera. Yet, these same stories and comments will also ignore countless other black leaders who are calling out the racism implicit in this situation.

In my eyes, the situation in Ferguson is an excellent opportunity for white America to wake up to the reality of racism in America today. In particular, it provides a chance to examine implicit racism that may exist in law enforcement and in criminal justice systems. But most importantly, it should give us a chance to look at the racism inside each of us as well.

For instance, I am appalled by the fact that just about any adult, black male you ask can tell you stories about when they have been pulled over or stopped by police for seemingly no reason apart from the fact they are black. In fact, many of my black friends can even joke about these occurrences because they are such a common experience. But for me--the white male--I have no such experiences. I can honestly say I have never been pulled over because of the color of my skin. Not so for many of my friends and colleagues.

Racism is alive. I have seen it at work too much in central Texas. However, I guarantee it exists all over the country. Whenever we as whites assume that "white" is the default color for humanity (as most of us unconsciously do) we are giving into racism. We notice that this person is "black" or that person is "Hispanic/Asian/etc.," but we don't really notice that those like us are "white."

When the color of our skin allows us to drive around without fear of being stopped by police or being harassed about where we are going, we benefit from racism.

Whenever I wear a hoodie and don't have my character or honesty judged, I benefit from racism.

And so, I will be watching carefully as the story in Fergusson unfolds. Where will the emphasis be? What will my white friends focus on? Will they find a way to think about the police actions along with the issue of racism? Or, like usual, will we fumble through the question of race and continue ignoring ways we allow racism to live on in our country contrary to the Kingdom of God?

Scandals in the Family

In the past few days I have seen several posts on Facebook and news stories concerning the scandals and accusations surrounding Seattle pastor, Mark Driscoll. In case you missed it, a fresh round of accusations has come his way and seem to be coming to a head. Some are the same old charges of misogyny, while newer concerns have also been raised about mismanagement of church funds. The most recent revelations have led the Acts 29 network to kick Driscoll and his church, Mars Hill, out of their fellowship, Lifeway publishers to pull Driscoll's books from shelves, and church members and others to protest outside the church demanding for Driscoll's resignation.

Pastor Mark Driscoll

For a number of Christians, this news no doubt excites them. I know numerous Christians who have criticized or made fun of Driscoll because of his theological stances which they viewed to be sexist or misogynistic. I myself would tend to agree and have never been greatly impressed by Driscoll's overall demeanor. So, now that things seem to be falling apart for Driscoll and his church, it would be easy to those who have criticized Driscoll in the past to pat themselves on the back and say, "I told you so. It was just a matter of time."

But now is not the time for gloating or for seeking vindication. Rather, I think now is a time for weeping. It is becoming clearer that the ministry built by and surrounding Driscoll has not always been very ethical. In fact, this is the central reason Acts 29 gave for removing Driscoll and Mars Hill from their membership. But this is not something to celebrate.

The previous two churches I attended have experienced scandals and church splits. I can say that this is not a joyful experience. While some of us may not care for the ministry approach (or sins) of Driscoll, we cannot forget that there are many members of his church who are caught in the crossfire of these controversies. Whether their pastor resigns or simply has his credibility damaged, this congregation will suffer. And, if some of us are right in asserting that he has failed to minister in an ethical or godly way, then we should also grieve that this congregation has not been served well for years.

But even beyond grieving for this particular congregation, incidents like this should cause us to weep for the entire Church. "There is one Body." You and I are connected to Driscoll and to his ministry whether we like it or not. We serve the same Savior King. We were baptized by the same Spirit. We are part of the same Body. And so, when one minister sins, even on the other side of the country, his (or her) sin impacts us all. It damages the credibility of the Church in the eyes of the world. It hurts our brothers and sisters in Christ. And it creates a distraction from the central mission Christ has given the Church.

And so, even though I personally don't care for Driscoll, I must suppress the urge--the temptation--to gloat or celebrate. As part of the Body of Christ I need to grieve. After all, I am called to love Driscoll and his church, despite the shortcomings. So, let us grieve for this situation and seek healing and forgiveness because the love of Christ compels us to do so.

"But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it." 1 Cor. 12:24-26

Faithfulness or Ambition

I'm at an interesting point in my life right now. I finished my master's degree right at a year ago now and have thought a lot recently about future plans. At the same time, many of my friends have also recently finished their degrees and are moving on to new jobs and new cities. And yet, I am still here in Marlin working two jobs, one of them being the part-time youth pastor job I've have for 4 years now.

I would be lying if I said there weren't days when I wonder if it's time to move on and pursue a new job. After all, there are many reasons to start a new phase in my life. I could consolidate into a single (better paying) job. This would also free up time to spend with my family. I could find myself at a bigger church in a bigger town with bigger opportunities. I have a better degree than four years ago which could open up new possibilities. And, we could move closer to family to have free babysitters (aka grandparents).

However, despite all the reasons to leave, we are still here. Why?

Because I want to believe in faithful ministry. Yes, it would be easier to pack things up and seek a new, great opportunity for me and my family, but part of ministry means considering those to whom you are actually ministering. In the case of my church, my family feels a need to stick around a little longer. When I came, the church had seen 4 pastors in the previous decade and as many youth and children's pastors. Needless to say the church has grown accustomed to pastors coming and going every few years.

But I can't help but wonder if this is good. Sometimes I wonder if pastors are truly driven by God's call on their life or if they are driven more by ambition.

I suppose some could accuse me of having a lack of ambition. "Why don't you go pastor your own church? You've got a degree, do something with it! You've got so much talent, why waste it on little old Marlin?"

But I know my own heart, and the truth is I have too much ambition. I lust after those dream jobs. I dream of becoming a famous pastor, writer, teacher, etc. It's too easy for me to salivate after a community that would "actually respond". Yes, there is plenty of ambition in my heart, but I know what I also need is faithfulness.

Too many pastors are adept at the art of "church-jumping." They see an opportunity that is attractive (and just so happens to pay better as well) and find themselves resigning from their current church because "God is calling them" to such and such a church.

Now, I'm not saying that every pastor who leaves a church is like this. I believe there are many genuine calls from God to move. However, I also know it can be very easy to confuse God's voice with our own lusts, whether they be for power, prestige, or money.

Why do I stay in Marlin? Call it an experiment in faithfulness. I want to believe that God is found as much in the weak and little places as in the big and powerful places. I want to believe that amazing things can happen when we stick it out through the tough times and remain faithful. But most of all, I want to be very wary of "following my heart" before following Christ.

I'm sure one day God will call me and my family to someplace else, but when that time comes I want to make sure of a few things. I want to know for sure that it is God's voice and not simply mine, and I want to know for sure that I have done all I can do in my present location and ministry. And perhaps the American church could benefit from faithfulness like this. Maybe we as pastors need to stop bowing to the celebrity cult our churches want and bow down the the Messiah who conquered sin and death with a cross--a tool that stands for weakness, humility, and foolishness.